Goodbye
by ShyWrites
Summary: When Sans feels like he's out of options, he writes a letter to his brother reveal the most saddest of things. ONESHOT


_Papyrus,_

 _You are the best brother I could ask for. Not like you didn't know that already but I just wanted to tell you that. You've honestly dealt with me and my laziness everyday and I am severely grateful._

 _From day one you were always there for me, even when I get a bit… overwhelming on my puns. You stood by me, fed me, cared about me… I love you bro. You are the only one on Earth who can deal with my laziness and still love me for who I am._

 _You are the light of my life and are the ONLY reason I continue to live. You are the one person, the one skeleton that I will do ANYTHING for. And I just want you to know that your happiness means so much to me. YOU mean so much to me…._

 _But…_

 _As I trudge through this seemingly endless road of life… I uh… hit a brick wall. Not literally but… for the past few months, I've been feeling…out of it. Like what's the point of being here or even DOING anything….when it's just gonna get erased in the end?_

 _Those DAMN resets! They seem to happen constantly now, throwing me off. One minute, I could be hanging out with you on Friday and the next I could be back on Monday night, experiencing the same nightmares that I thought I had six months ago…_

 _Remember? You ran into the room with a wash rag cuz you said I was sweating like I was doing extreme training with you and Undyne or something… And before you say, 'That was yesterday, Silly Sans'… It was six months ago._

 _We've have been trapped in a constant loop of reality and it has been making me feel… depressed. I talked to Grillby about this but he isn't really helping… I even asked Alphys about what I could do to make this empty, sorrowful feeling go away but… I tried everything._

 _Eating my favorite foods, going to my favorite places, trying to feel like…ME again but….._

 _Nothing's working…_

 _As you've obviously noticed, I've been telling my signature puns less and less and spending hours to days in my room. I would be wrapped under the covers either reading the books Alphys gave me about depression or simply being a big pile of 'LAZY BONES'. Hehe…_

 _At first I thought this was only a phase. I thought that I will get better one of these days… But 'these days' turned to 'these months' and then another wave hit me. I started to feel like trash. Thinking that the world is full of shit and I am shit and if I did anything, it would just end up being nothing but shit…_

 _I then started to not care and mope in my room, hoping that I will be back to the outgoing Sans we all once knew…but he hasn't came back yet…_

 _Sans seemed to have wandered far away from me and out of anyone's reach and the only thing left is his body. A figure walking around pretending to be him. To be who I once was but it was not working._

 _Nothing is… I've even tried drinking and smoking my troubles away but they keep coming back in bigger blows. I then thought of one thing I haven't tried yet._

 _Suicide…_

 _It was a gruesome act but I thought it wouldn't hurt too bad…right? At least the pain would be gone. At least I will be free from my sadness. My emptiness. The weight that is pulling at my brain and at my soul._

 _My heart._

 _I have attempted to do it many times. At work, I tried slamming my head on the table until I almost cracked my skull open, you stopped me. I tried stabbing myself at Grillby's, he stopped me. I even tried overdosing myself with anti depressants, you stopped me from doing that too. In fact you threw them away and even told Alphys not to proscribe me anymore of them. I know you care about me but…._

 _Why won't just let me die?! Can't you see I don't want to LIVE anymore?! I gave up on life a long time ago.. I gave up on EVERYTHING a long time ago but you kept me going at least for a little while longer. You were the reason I stuck around for a little bit. Pap, you were all that matter to me. You still are as I'm writing this but just don't forget about me._

 _Don't forget how much I sacrificed for you. Don't forget how much I love you and how much I will always love you even as I disappear from existence. I wish you good luck on your journey though life and I hope I won't hold you back from making it into the Royal Guard._

 _I hope I don't hold you back from being the most coolest guy I'm related to. I am honored to have been your brother._

 _Before I go, I want to let you know something else. This is not your fault. You were amazing and I couldn't have asked for better support. It's not Alphys' or Undyne's faults either. Nor the king's, the lady behind the door or even the kid's fault. It's all mine._

 _Please don't mourn over losing me. That's not want I want. I want you all to be happy and never forget me. Keep me in your hearts and I will give you strength._

 _You will be great Papyrus, I knew that from the very beginning._

 _Your big brother and admirer,_

 _Sans_

Papyrus sobbed as he finished reading the letter. The thought of losing his big brother was too much to bear for him. He wiped his tears from his face before lying the piece of paper on the counter.

He then grabbed the knife that laid next to the note. He picked it up before examining its tip.

He didn't care how much his brother said not to mourn as much over him but the pain of being alone was killing him. It felt like his entire heart had shattered, leaving nothing but a void in its place. He could handle just the thought of losing his big brother and now that he was gone, he had no other option left. He held the blade close to his neck before saying.

"I'm coming with you, brother."

And with that, he slit the knife through his throat, smiling weakly as he did this. That smile remained as his head fell onto the counter on top of the letter before turning to dust.

~I~I~

 **Welp… That happened…**

 **Just so you all are aware, this story is based on the Neutral Route. When Frisk leaves the Underground without setting the monsters free. The monsters continue their lives as if the human had never entered the underground to begin with. Even though their world constantly resets, they all think nothing of it. Except Sans. He is affected by this in the worst of ways, getting worse and worse after every reset until he eventually ends his life.**

 **Anyways if you enjoyed this fic, please review and favorite! I love the support! If you want to see dark or sad like fics in the future please follow me! I hope you guys enjoy your weekend and PLEASE don't commit any of the things in this fanfic.**

 **Bless your hearts,**

 **ShyWrites**


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